I don't remember the exact quote but it is something like, "Success is 90% preparation and 10% execution". If there is no such quote then I want credit - LOL
Anyway -- this is post is NOT about big preparation stuff like a daily itinerary for your two week vacation or getting your taxes done by March 1st or anything grandiose like that, in fact, for that stuff I am a spontaneous go with the flow guy (especially when it comes to tax prep!).
What I am talking about is the little stuff that REALLY gets under my skin. The biggest of them all might very well be the TOLL BOOTH!
Let's see, whether it's on the highway, the airport, or a parking garage you KNOW IT IS THERE! I can not stand pulling up behind someone who is completely unprepared. Seriously, at least have your ticket handy. Yesterday I was at a seminar and was stuck in parking garage for nearly 20 minutes. As I was THREE cars away I noticed the person at the cashier was 'fishing' for their ticket. Ok, if the lot was empty and you just cruised on up this makes sense, not for me, I would be ready with ticket and money in hand, but I'm ok with it. But really, you just sat there for 20 minutes, couldn't you have done the whole purse search while you were waiting (this just happened to be a woman, I am not judging or making a generalization I assure you). So, Car A gets done and I am now just one away. I pull up and realize that the driver of Car B is about to begin the same 'dance' as HE pulls up to the window. Are we serious? Is time that useless to everyone? This dude though takes the cake...not only can't he find his ticket for at least 90 seconds he has NO cash! Ummmm...ok, lots of people stopped carrying cash, but again, didn't he KNOW this when he pulled up and couldn't he have had his credit card ready? Unbelievable.
My other FAVORITE toll booth past time is the 'one coin at a time dropper'. You know the person, they pull up to the EXACT CHANGE toll booth and feed in ONE coin at a time. I have decided this happens for one of two reasons:
1. They are 2 minutes from death (elderly) and they don't realize you can throw a shit ton of coins in and the machine will actually count them OR
2. and this is the BAD one --- you are looking for a 'free ride' so you toss small coin in after small coin in hoping that somehow either you will 'game' the machine or the random person in front of you actually tossed in too much money.
In either scenario I have been able to do some 'profiling' to try and avoid these people in front of me (and yes I have a TOLL TAG, but it doesn't work anywhere I travel to for work). Scenario ONE you actually can avoid with some preparation. Avoid being behind cars where you can only see knuckles on the steering wheel in front of you and MAYBE a shock of grey hair. You can also get a good read from the vehicle...does it have one of those thingies on the antennae like a tennis ball?
Scenario TWO is tougher because you often can't spot them until they are actually at the booth, however, if this happens be prepared to take 10 DEEP BREATHS --- the window does NOT roll down and they have to open the car door to 'toss coins' in. Statistically accurate within a +/- of 5%, 80% of these people are 'coin feeders' and you will be waiting.
These are just two examples of small amounts of wasted time. Each might only be 5-10seconds but that adds up, plus you have no idea if that 5-10 seconds could have saved your life down the line or cost you an opportunity to meet someone special.
Think about, next time your in line at the grocery store, have your credit card ready, half the check written or whatever else you can do to facilitate a quick and efficient exit and let the next guy get moving --- he may be more impatient than me, but I doubt it :-)
ILU VM
Friday, March 6, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Assignment #3 was a 'retread' but a goodie
Last I left you, I was going to use 'Ear hair' as my topic. Didn't do it. Tried putting pen to paper and out came nothing. I really wanted a 'rant' and I wanted to show off my 'individuality' and quite frankly the last week has been one of the worst ones I can remember from a desire to do anything but bury my head and heart in the sand, except for the basics.
So, I went back and realized my 'Starbucks" post was pretty good, let me just turn that in.
And that is what I did...copied here are the Instructors remarks and then below that I am pasting in the post again for those that might have never read it...
ILU VM
Intrsuctor's Note
Gil,
We’ve reached the midway point, and our “individuality” exercise. I was happy to see you really get into this one.
Firstly, and most prominently, I must comment on how honest this piece was—you really set everything out, directly, for the reader. I felt a real connection between author and reader with this short exercise. You are both hilarious and honest. I think that you’ve prepared the groundwork, perhaps, for a longer nonfiction piece exploring this topic. You bring so much entertainment to the subject, and that is a good thing. Did I mention you’re hilarious?
Secondly, I wanted to comment on the “you” in this piece. There is a lot of “Gil,” and your personality really came through in full force. I want to see you bring some of this humor and honesty to every piece. Your writing has been strong thus far, but I think that bringing some more “you” into your writing will be of benefit (honestly, it is for most of us). Keep that energy and passion, no matter what you’re writing. You’ve managed to write about something honest—keep that strength!
Again, great work, Gil. Keep it up. I am really enjoying reading your work.
Best,
Danny
Starbuck's Blog
Coffee – I really don’t drink coffee. I think I’m supposed to drink coffee. As a kid, all the adults drank coffee; to me it was a sign of maturity. I went to college and everyone was drinking coffee – hey you’re on your own, you’re not really a grown up but we can act like grown up, let’s drink coffee. Not me, but I was sure that when I finally grew up I would one day drink coffee.
Inherently though I’m lazy, at least as far as coffee goes. Here’s the deal. Coffee is a pain in the ass to make. You have to put the filter in, put the coffee in, dump in the right amount of water and then wait, then you pour it out and have to add in milk and a sweetener, and to top it all off you have to clean up. What the fuck, that’s a lot of work just to get pumped up for your day, so in my inherent laziness and ingenuity I pop a Diet Coke as I walk out the door and voila I have caffeine…this isn’t rocket science kids.
So I’ve lived my adult life that way. Sure, I’ll drink coffee, but it’s at a business meeting, a client breakfast or after dinner with dessert, you know, basic adult stuff…but the key here is I do not work to get the coffee, so why not drink it.
This is all good until I encountered Starbucks. Now, Starbucks has been around a long time and I have avoided it like the plague. The few times I have ventured or been forced in it has been VERY uncomfortable. I had NO idea what to do and there was no one willing to help. The Starbucks aliens that work there are very friendly to their ‘kind’ but you introduce a human being to the counter that can’t say “Venti, decaf, quad something, something with a this or that” and they think you just landed. So, on the few times I had to go I just say “medium coffee” and I could feel the entire line and staff just laughing their asses off.
All of this changed in the winter of 2007. We were visiting my brother-in-law’s family in South Florida and I need to run out to the store for some wine, wine by the way I do thank you very much, and my sister-in-law says she’s dying for Starbucks can I get her something. "Sure, no problem they are right next door to each other, WRITE DOWN what you want… no way am I approaching that counter without written directions". So I walk in and wait my turn, rehearsing my lines…”Grande nonfat 2 Splenda latte, Grande nonfat 2 Splenda latte”. It’s my turn and I nail it, like I’ve been doing it all my life. I’m freaking Michael Jordan hitting an 18 ft. jumper to win the NBA Championship; I’m Tiger Woods…never mind.
I strut out of the Starbucks, head held high, with Melissa’s grande nonfat 2 Splenda latte and I feel I need to take a sip…uh oh…I like it, I mean really like it. Here I am now two years later and 3 or 4 days a week going to Starbucks and ordering a grande nonfat 2 Splenda latte. I even giggle when some yahoo can’t figure out what to order. I’ve become the alien, assimilated into the borg….the kicker…I have NO CLUE WHAT THE FUCK I AM DRINKING…to this day, and I’m not asking.
So, I went back and realized my 'Starbucks" post was pretty good, let me just turn that in.
And that is what I did...copied here are the Instructors remarks and then below that I am pasting in the post again for those that might have never read it...
ILU VM
Intrsuctor's Note
Gil,
We’ve reached the midway point, and our “individuality” exercise. I was happy to see you really get into this one.
Firstly, and most prominently, I must comment on how honest this piece was—you really set everything out, directly, for the reader. I felt a real connection between author and reader with this short exercise. You are both hilarious and honest. I think that you’ve prepared the groundwork, perhaps, for a longer nonfiction piece exploring this topic. You bring so much entertainment to the subject, and that is a good thing. Did I mention you’re hilarious?
Secondly, I wanted to comment on the “you” in this piece. There is a lot of “Gil,” and your personality really came through in full force. I want to see you bring some of this humor and honesty to every piece. Your writing has been strong thus far, but I think that bringing some more “you” into your writing will be of benefit (honestly, it is for most of us). Keep that energy and passion, no matter what you’re writing. You’ve managed to write about something honest—keep that strength!
Again, great work, Gil. Keep it up. I am really enjoying reading your work.
Best,
Danny
Starbuck's Blog
Coffee – I really don’t drink coffee. I think I’m supposed to drink coffee. As a kid, all the adults drank coffee; to me it was a sign of maturity. I went to college and everyone was drinking coffee – hey you’re on your own, you’re not really a grown up but we can act like grown up, let’s drink coffee. Not me, but I was sure that when I finally grew up I would one day drink coffee.
Inherently though I’m lazy, at least as far as coffee goes. Here’s the deal. Coffee is a pain in the ass to make. You have to put the filter in, put the coffee in, dump in the right amount of water and then wait, then you pour it out and have to add in milk and a sweetener, and to top it all off you have to clean up. What the fuck, that’s a lot of work just to get pumped up for your day, so in my inherent laziness and ingenuity I pop a Diet Coke as I walk out the door and voila I have caffeine…this isn’t rocket science kids.
So I’ve lived my adult life that way. Sure, I’ll drink coffee, but it’s at a business meeting, a client breakfast or after dinner with dessert, you know, basic adult stuff…but the key here is I do not work to get the coffee, so why not drink it.
This is all good until I encountered Starbucks. Now, Starbucks has been around a long time and I have avoided it like the plague. The few times I have ventured or been forced in it has been VERY uncomfortable. I had NO idea what to do and there was no one willing to help. The Starbucks aliens that work there are very friendly to their ‘kind’ but you introduce a human being to the counter that can’t say “Venti, decaf, quad something, something with a this or that” and they think you just landed. So, on the few times I had to go I just say “medium coffee” and I could feel the entire line and staff just laughing their asses off.
All of this changed in the winter of 2007. We were visiting my brother-in-law’s family in South Florida and I need to run out to the store for some wine, wine by the way I do thank you very much, and my sister-in-law says she’s dying for Starbucks can I get her something. "Sure, no problem they are right next door to each other, WRITE DOWN what you want… no way am I approaching that counter without written directions". So I walk in and wait my turn, rehearsing my lines…”Grande nonfat 2 Splenda latte, Grande nonfat 2 Splenda latte”. It’s my turn and I nail it, like I’ve been doing it all my life. I’m freaking Michael Jordan hitting an 18 ft. jumper to win the NBA Championship; I’m Tiger Woods…never mind.
I strut out of the Starbucks, head held high, with Melissa’s grande nonfat 2 Splenda latte and I feel I need to take a sip…uh oh…I like it, I mean really like it. Here I am now two years later and 3 or 4 days a week going to Starbucks and ordering a grande nonfat 2 Splenda latte. I even giggle when some yahoo can’t figure out what to order. I’ve become the alien, assimilated into the borg….the kicker…I have NO CLUE WHAT THE FUCK I AM DRINKING…to this day, and I’m not asking.
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