Sometimes I can withdraw into myself and not really be a part of the world around me. At its worst, I put on my ear buds, crank up the music, drop the sunglasses and 'sleepwalk' to where I need to be. Every once in awhile something will shake me out of that 'slumber' and I once again realize how much I am missing when I intentionally choose to turn off some of the senses that G-d gave me.
Intentional, like the use of the word above, is quickly becoming my motto. I am trying very diligently to lead an 'intentional life'. For too long now I have sat back and allowed the days to wash over me. While things have been good, they could and will be better.
All of this ran through me today at the airport while I waited through a two hour maintenance delay and an hour ground stop once we boarded. On top of that, I got to the airport early and got on an earlier flight, which thanks to those delays wound up taking off over an hour after my regularly scheduled flight left. Normally my reaction would be one of disgust. Disgust of the airline, disgust in myself for making the change and from there I could have spiraled right into a shitty weekend. Instead I took that opportunity to be intentional. I opened my laptop and reviewed documents for three very big meetings next week. I looked over a resume for an interview I need to conduct and I did research for a project that a friend is working on. I also reflected on my week with my children, where we visited friends and family. I wish I could put into words how special it was to see four of my closest friends on the same night with their families and to have a picture of all of us the reflection of 30+ years of friendship and then seeing our children enjoy those same bonding moments that we had.
Lastly, I spent some time observing the world around me. Mostly I was looking at the interaction of 'couples'. Not just any couples but the ones where you could tell that they have been together for awhile. What I saw scared me. It also made me think back about my own relationships and realize I now have an opportunity to be intentional once again. What I saw was that, at least in my eyes, the 'closer' a couple was, the less mutual respect they showed each other. Whether it was the husband rolling his eyes at what must have seemed like a silly request or the huffing of a wife as she yanked something out of her 'out of touch' partner I saw genuine disdain. Now I realize, having been in more than a long term relationship, that we get on each others nerves. But what I also thought about was, for some reason, the more we become comfortable with someone the less we appreciate them. If a co-worker, or an acquaintance asks us to do a mundane task we most often smile, do it and move on. However, how many times, when our significant other asks for a small favor, do we sigh, roll our eyes or do something to let them know what a bother it is. Again, I am human and I realize this does happen, but realizing that it also helps make me aware of it. By being intentional with my thoughts and actions I hope to reduce these occasions and instead, show more caring, love and support to those around me. I imagine it will be noticed and reciprocated.
My afternoon of intention wrapped up with a great phone call. I was reminded how positive I was being about my experience and how I sometimes, OK often, react with a more negative attitude. I smiled, knowing that I was acting intentionally and it showed.
As I write tonight I am thinking about one of my friends who is resilient, strong and brave. He would never say those things to you. He will tell you he deals with what's in front of him and believes in staying positive amongst many great adversities. I see he is living an intentional life. Thanks again for 'waking me up' Alex.
