Have you been to traffic court lately?

On Monday I had the pleasure of taking our Au Pair to Traffic Court. Essentially it was our fault she received the citation so being there was the right thing, but the reality of the near 2 hour experience was pure comedy (and some embarrassment).

Why were we in Court and how could it be your 'hero's' fault? Pretty simple, we forgot to put the new little '08 sticker on her license plate. It was in the home office of course!

So, here's your day and first realize I have been laid up with bronchitis since the Thursday beforehand and felt like GARBAGE:

We get to the Dekalb Courthouse at around 1:30 for a 2:00 "appointment". The line to go through security was around the block. Not usually that big of a deal, however, I have the 'chills' so I am wearing a hoody, pretty smart knowing I was going to be sitting in a courtroom, not great standing in the 90 Atlanta heat for 30 minutes. Lerato and me also made an interesting observation standing in this line...there are NO white folks here with the exception of me. What's with that? Do white people not get tickets in Atlanta? Do we blow off court appearances? Is there an option to not have to go? I can't answer the last question because I have never gotten a ticket (at least in Georgia) to know if you could just send in your money...but we had no choice on this one because once we show them the documentation the whole thing gets dropped...

OK, so we get through security. Note to the folks at probably ALL County Offices. It's been 6 years since 9/11, can we look at a non-makeshift set up? It's time to invest a little moolah and make something a little more permanent.

Up to the Courtroom we go where there are already 50 or so folks in the room, it is now 5 minutes to 2:00. There is a Clerk of Courts there to 'assist' everyone. First thing I hear is, "ALL cell phones must be turned OFF, not silent, not vibrate, but OFF" and if you do not comply you WILL be held in contempt of court and spend TWO DAYS in jail. Really? Even when court is NOT in session. We heard this announcement about every 5 minutes for the next 40 minutes or so...which means, you guessed it...NO Judge until 2:30 or so. In the meantime, they did a decent job of dealing with people looking to plea out, pay fines, or folks like us who had documentation to get out of their issues. One interesting note if you ever get a MOVING VIOLATION...put up with the hassle and go to court, at least here in Dekalb County. You see, the County will offer you a 'reduction' as they call it, blackmail as I see it, and reduce your moving violation and lower you fine if you can pay them that day by 4:30! So, you get no points and pay less so they can have some cash. On the flip side, if you can't pay and are pleading guilty they will allow you to pay in installments. This I think i very generous until I hear that you are charged $34 a month, EVERY month until your fine is paid off. So let's see, I can't pay the $150 speeding ticket, I only have $20...I give you this $20 and say another $45 for the next 3 months PLUS the $34 * 3 and in the end will have paid $300 for a $150 ticket. Not exactly a bargain for the lower income citizens is it? But I digress...

So how did it get embarrassing? Well, the Judge is there finally and he is reading rules & regulations and all the details, all very important stuff I know but I have a dilemma...it's almost 3:00 and my kids get dropped of at home around 3:45 and I'm in court with the person who is supposed to be at home to let them in. If you know me you know I am a little concerned. You also know I already don't have a great deal of patience for tedious acts and listening to the Judge explain the difference between a GUILTY plea and one of NO LO CONTENDRE has now put me on edge. I guess I have trouble with expressing myself non-verbally, or at least so some people say :) and the Judge must have picked up on it...at 3:20 I look down at my watch and I hear, "We all have places to be, looking at your watch will do no good" and bam I get all red in the face. I mean come on...aren't you a judge? Why do you have to call me out like that? I'm in the FIRST ROW no one sees me looking at my watch and I have a pretty valid concern especially since I have to have my damn phone off in your courtroom. G-d forbid I try to text message my wife so my 7 and 5 year olds aren't stranded outside the house...another 5 minutes and I am risking TWO nights in jail for their safety.

OK, I rambled a bit but I think you get the gist. Court system sucks, totally takes advantage of the poor, you don't see white people and if you talk on your phone or to your neighbor they are going to blow more taxpayer money and lock you up...fuck the guy selling crack down the street or the pedophile who is lurking at the local playground...