The Man who changed my life

Tomorrow we celebrate Pop-Pop's 67th birthday, to me he is Dad.

I have TWO father's but only ONE Dad. I no longer have the big misgivings about how my childhood turned out, in fact, I am grateful. I have had the gift of a father that loved me to the best of his ability and I have had a Dad to guide me through the difficult and akward years: he has been a mentor, a teacher and most importantly a friend, that listens first and gives freely.

Art is a quiet man, but it doesn't take much for you to understand where he is coming from --- it just takes a look and maybe a grunt.

My greatest memory growing up in the Slomsky house:

When we still lived in Philly and my parents were dating at the time, Art took me to the 'shore' to set up for his summer job. It was April and we were in Aunt Sybil and Uncle Denny's Dark Green van. Art took me, just me, to help set up the T-shirt store he had on Million Dollar Pier. It was FREEZING and the van was also our 'hotel room'. I remember that first night, we went to see HAIR at a movie theater and then we went for coffee at the Pink Flamingo. He knew almost everyone, especially theses ladies that were dressed really funny (later I would learn they were the famous AC Hookers, but I digress). I don't remember too much else from the trip except we ate lots of cheesesteaks and worked on the Pier.

I remember that Summer and the gypsy kids, spending time with Todd & Tara, who would become my brother & sister and running all over the pier, playing skee ball, messing with the Gorilla Woman's kids and generally staying out of trouble.

Soon after we moved to Florida and the t-shirt shop was no more, and the Pier was torn down and turned into a mall, but that summer stayed with us for YEARS as we had the worst wardrobe of iron-on t-shirts for a very long time. It still kills me that my parents let Tara run around with "IBTC"(and I hope you know what that means)t-shirt on at the age of like 10!

There are so many other great memories of my childhood thanks to Art.

You did what no man 'has to do'. You raised someone else's kids as your own, you worked 3 jobs to make ends meet, you kicked our butts to work around the house and most importantly you taught me what it means to be a man and a REAL FATHER.

I love you and am thankful that you CHOSE to be DAD and never settled for anything less.

Happy Birthday!

Lunch with the President of Chick-Fil-A, Dan Cathy

One of the best parts of being part of Leadership Atlanta, www.leadershipatlanta.org, is the access to amazingly successful Business Leaders in very personal settings. The Organization set up these "few on one" meetings with about 15 of Atlanta's Finest. I signed up for two, today's with Mr. Cathy and then I am meeting with the new CEO of Home Depot in late March. I chose these two for very specific reasons. Mr. Cathy because the Chick-Fil-A(CFA) story is truly legendary in Atlanta and I had heard him speak to a large group and he was very charismatic. I chose the Home Depot meeting because I have always specialized in turning organizations around and this is truly a company that needs to be doing that.

So we arrive at CFA's Campus which is South of the city by the airport and it is a gorgeous drive from the gatehouse to the main building. I park and meet my fellow classmates in the sprawling lobby. In the lobby is a collection of Dan's (yes we had to call him Dan, not Mr. Cathy) father's antique car and motorcycle collection. It was breath taking to walk through Model T's to Rolls Royce's and a few magnificent Harley's. From there we were taken down to the 'cafeteria' which was more like the Buffet at Bellagio! Of course, along with fish, pasta, salad bar and dessert there was also Chick-Fil-A Chicken Sandwich's for the taking. The best part --- it is ABSOLUTELY FREE for ALL...not just employees, but contractors, guests, vendors...even the maintenance guys that come in to fix things do so around lunch time so they can enjoy. We took our lunches to a conference room for our meeting with Dan.

First thing you should know, if you don't know Chick-Fil-A, is that Dan and his family are very religious. This is something I had heard and was anxious to see how I would deal with it. Sometimes, as a Jew, my radar goes up about being proselytized too so I was a little worried about being uncomfortable. To tell you the truth, Dan's story is very spiritual and certainly one of Christianity and the service of Christ, yet he told it in a fashion that did NOT make me uncomfortable at all!

So, what Dan wanted to talk to us about was Leadership and Service; two of my favorite topics and with me moving into a leadership role in a new company I was looking forward to a 'refresher course'.

Dan likes to use metaphors and examples and we received each one of his metaphors as actual gifts to keep! Here were Dan's Five Gifts:

1. A SMALL jar of Jiff Creamy Peanut Butter - Dan explained how he LOVES PB (I'm with him)! He had us unscrew the top and look at the freshness seal. He asked us what we though of as we peel of that freshness seal and we all agreed it was the fresh aroma of new PB. Dan said this was metaphor #1 - STAY FRESH! He also said he only buys the small jars so he can have that experience more often --- how cool? So with this he gave us a couple of nuggets about staying fresh

- Always be learning
- Always be thinking
- When a student is ready, a teacher will appear (how cool)
- Be BOLD and AGGRESSIVE with people you want to spend time with (hmmmm)

2. A silver baton (like the ones used in track & field) - the metaphor --- Success is built on SUCCESSION. What a powerful message and what a way to deliver it. It is one thing to be successful, it's a completely other thing to help make someone else successful and carry on a legacy in a smooth transition.

3. A railroad spike, with 'Stay on Track' engraved on it --- this is fairly obvious but it is the yin to the Peanut Butter's Yang. It's one thing to be bold and always fresh; it's an entirely different thing to stay grounded and focused on what you do best.

4. A starch white towel with a monogram on the bottom that says "Great Leaders SERVE" on the bottom. Dan explained by showing how the WHITE towel can be a sign of service when draped correctly over the left arm versus tucked in your back pocket with a Spray Bottle dangling from it.

- Great leaders have an attitude of service
- Be humble, gracious, generous and genuine

5. A shoeshine Brush -- Dan actually got down on the floor and buffed one of our shoes. Again tying the lesson of service Dan told the story of how at the Last Supper Jesus actually washed the feet of his disciples. What struck me was not the story per se but Dan's genuineness as he worked on Pat's boots. The care he took with her pants cuffs and the hug he gave her when it was over. I actually was moved watching him.

I also picked up a few great lines:

- We were designed to lead challenging lives; full of love, health and generosity. If you aren't getting this you need to find it to be fulfilled.

- God Built is for service

- The handshake of the host directly affects the taste of the roast ---now that is BANADICULOUS!

All in all it was a great 2 hours on a day that I needed inspiration greatly



As always --- ILU VM

Diet Coke

"Hi my name is Gil W. and I am compulsive Diet Coke drinker."

"Hi Gil"

My last drink of Diet Coke was February 15th at 6:00 PM. This morning I had a 'slip up' so I guess the last one was now Tuesday, February 24th. In actuality I only had about 1/2 a can but a slip is a slip right? A heroin addict can't shoot up half way? The guy who pounds a half a bottle of Cab a night to take the edge off doesn't get by with just one glass. So, I broke my ban on Diet Coke but I am resolute on the goal.

People have asked this last week why give it up? Can't you cut back? What's wrong with it anyway?

First of all, I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with it, I just didn't like the amount I was drinking and looking back on how my body felt this past week without it, I have realized I didn't like how it made me feel. I have no scientific proof and I don't get into all the 'Internet theories' but I can share this with you: after the 24 hour withdrawal headache subsided (and no i have never done hard drugs to know what true withdrawal is) I have NEVER felt 'healthier'. Healthier in that I am not having energy dips and spikes throughout the day. Healthier in that I banged out 5 miles on Saturday and came back Monday and did another 5 and it was faster than Saturday. Healthier in that I 'feel' lighter even if the scale only shows .8 lbs. I also seem to have lost a craving or two. My biggest craving, a stress one, is Burger King Cheeseburgers, and yes I specifically mean BK ones. I could pound 3 of them in less than 5 minutes and still not feel sated. Right now, in a situation that is begging for a BK run...I am ok...not ok with the overall picture but ok in that I don't need the cheeseburgers. Is this related to the DC's I don't know.

The second part --- cutting back. Yes, I think I could just 'cut back' and have 1 to 2 a day and feel fine and be completely justified...but why? Am I drinking it for the taste...really? After drinking nothing but WATER for 8 days I realized, this morning after drinking the half a can, that the taste ain't all that great and in fact WATER tastes good, especially freezing cold, like I am drinking right now. So, for me, for now I don't need to cut back. Am I pretending that I will never drink a DC again? Absolutely not! For now, I am trying hard to not be dependent on it.

So, in the fashion that started this post off ---

God, grant me the serenity to accpet the things I can not change,
the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

ILU - VM

Assignment #3 topic

got some really good input and was reminded how good it feels when someone knows you even better than you know yourself at certain times.

I have narrowed it down to two choices; ONIONS and 'Ear hair - and other true signs of aging'.

As I look back at the assignment and the other things I have written about; this is really a chance for me to change courses and rely on my lighter and funnier (notice I said funnier and not funny) voice. For that reason I am going with EAR HAIR, not that there's anything wrong with it - LOL.

Hopefully I will have some time tonight to free write and I know I'll have plenty of time Sunday morning while I sit at a Panera I found here in Atlanta that actually has ORANGE SCONES - it's a bit of a hike but worth every minute!

Week #3 Writing Assignment

So up until now I have posted the assignment and then my creative piece off of that.

This week I am struggling a bit and I am not sure why. Here's the assignment:

Make a list of five things you hate. These can be grand things, such as world leaders who lie, or these can be relatively minor things, such as carpet. Try to include one or two “hates” that no one else is likely to think of. Feel free to be petty or politically incorrect.

Pick the “hate” on your list that you find most interesting. The most eccentric choice might be best.

Then write a short piece presenting your “hate”—what it is, why you hate it. Write this very much as you would talk to someone you know. If you end up with some “telling,” that’s okay for this kind of thing. And if you find yourself launching into a rant, that’s fine, too.

But try not to go over 500 words.


You'd think this would be easier for me since I can go on a rant and exude some great hate, but maybe I've become more of a lover in my old age - LOL!

Tonight I plan on opening a bottle of something and putting pen to paper but if anyone has some good outrageous 'hates' you'd like me to explore --- FIRE AWAY!

Random thoughts from the middle of the week...

-- Things really do happen for a reason! I am back in my 'old' chair at my 'new' desk and realize that the world does work if you let it.

-- Three days plus of ZERO Diet Coke's and I am alive - who'd have thunk it!

-- The other day I was reminded of something VERY IMPORTANT -- I am a DREAMER. At first I took this as a negative but I have realized in the last day or two that I am a dreamer and I am proud of it. We would still be stuck in the Middle Ages if it weren't for dreamers, from the Wright Brothers to Walt Disney it is the dreamers that make REALITY. In doing research I came across this quote by Brian Tracy, whom I have gotten to work with in Sales Seminars in the past, "All successful people, men and women, are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day towards that distant vision, goal or purpose". Sums it up nicely I think.

-- Dealing with LICE sucks!!!! Thank God someone started an in home service as this past weekend could have been a lot worse!

-- A-Rod can't tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

-- Being around really creative people sparks creativty.

-- I'd like to spend an hour with P!NK talking about her music and how she writes.

I'm being haunted

no, this is not a creative writing piece ---- YET!

Literally, every night for the past 10 days or so I keep waking up from the same dream/nightmare. In actuality the dream changes somewhat but the basic premise is the same:

I am driving in my car with my father, mind you he is dead and the dream is in 'present time' hence why I know he is still dead. I don't remember the specifics of the conversations, just little threads, but EVERY time we are having a phone call with someone (this is the only part that changes) on my BLUETOOTH. On occasions the conversations have been 'funny' enough to make me laugh in my sleep and other times they have been downright scary to where I wake up in a cold sweat.

I have no idea what it means or how to make it stop -- or even if I want it to because maybe he is 'here' trying to help me work 'things' out --- I have no idea, but I do think it is odd that he hasn't asked me how my car can talk to me like KNIGHT RIDER yet since all this 'technology' should be new to him.

Oh well --- it is making for some good 'free writing' in my notebook.

Creative Writing Assignment #2

Here is the assignment and my first pass. As I told my 'editor' and friend I might rewrite this one with several different stories but this was my first pass:

Loretta and Mick were driving down a lonely highway one winter night. The car hit something, making a loud noise. Loretta and Mick bickered about whether he was driving drunk or not, then they got out to see what was hit. They peered into the darkness, seeing nothing.

Rewrite this episode, showing what happens. You should stick to these events and stick to the start and end point, but you may add in anything you like. Turn this into a scene that unfolds moment by moment. It will probably include some dialogue. Also strive to include descriptions that are specific and sensory.


Loretta and Mick are driving down a lonely highway one winter night. Like most nights in this part of the world darkness is total. With only Mick’s headlights to guide them and the wind and snow blowing around them, Mick’s cherry red ‘vette (his REAL love) feels more like a coffin with each passing moment. They weave down the center line crossing through imaginary gates like a downhill skier.

The night has gone all wrong for Loretta. She was hopeful that tonight they could start over, find the common ground that their relationship once had. By 11:00 Loretta knew that Mick was drinking too much. Loretta knew all the signs, she watched a parent slip into the cocoon of alcohol as a child. She still loved Mick, but now, 10 years later she was tired, exhausted actually, and the love she feels has turned into anger, self pity and guilt over how she has let her life get this way.

Loretta asks Mick to slow down, she even offers to drive. Mick scoffs, “as if I would let you drive my baby”. Loretta steams inside but knows better than to carry on any further at this point, in her mind she keeps repeating “just get me home safely so I can kiss MY babies and hopes the pain and lonely feeling dissipates, if even for a little while”.

Mick could feel the tension in the air as well. He knows all of the issues and his role in how the way things are turning out. He knows he is out of control with the drinking, he loathes how he feels but nothing else dulls the pain. He has tried focusing on his job and then getting back in shape and even went out of his way to spend extra time with the boys but even in those moments of pleasure there was always the haunting in the back of his mind.

Mick knows all the buttons to push on Loretta yet can’t stop himself, like the driving the car comment --- he knows he shouldn’t be driving; he trusts Loretta yet the crazy shit just comes out. His mind starts to drift, he too knows they love each other but wonders how did they get here and is there too much damage done.

Mick shakes his head to clear his mind so that he can focus on the road. Fifteen miles from home and he knows the weather is getting worse as they near the coast and his head is now pounding and feverish. He rounds a big curve and his eyes begin to close. Quietly, hoping Loretta doesn’t notice, Mick slaps his left cheek to keep himself awake, as his left hand returns to the wheel the car slides across the pavement and they hear the sickening sound of metal crunching the front end of the sports car.

Mick pulls over and the two share a glance that is filled with fear and concern. They open their doors and peer into the darkness and see nothing.

Is this how it happened?

At 13 he already knew he was special. He was long, lean and had the eye hand coordination of a skilled field marksman. At a very young age people started showering him with gifts; taking him to dinners, opening doors for him (both real and virtual) and making sure his every need was taken care of as he was going to be the family 'breadwinner'.

Through High School it became easier; no homework, girls all around him and always the invites to the best parties, but despite all of this he remained a hard worker, diligent in practice, knowing that this was just a stepping stone to the prize. He always knew the prize; not only to be the best but more importantly to be able to provide for his family, as extended as it was.

In college he saw the lesser players looking for the edge; the difference between being a baggage handler at MIA and getting 8 years of service in the 'bigs' was 15 to 20 points on your slugging percentage and maybe 5 more 'big bombs' a year. These were meaningless to him, he WAS the star, but he filed it in the back of his mind.

Time came to leave school early and make it in his chosen profession. He was a smash hit and starred early on. The money early on was nice, but his 'field' was about to explode with free agency and astronomical contracts. He was going to be THE ONE and for the first time he felt the pressure. Was he really good enough? Could his talent alone make him worthy of being #1? By now he'd seen it all, the injections, the swapped urine, the lying and back dealing. He never wanted anything to do with it but there was that gnawing in the back of his mind...a still, silent voice whispering to him from ages ago, "you have to provide for them", "they are counting on you".

In a moment of weakness, the man-child of 23 made his first mistake. The needle looked cold, the trickle that came from the tip was menacing; was he really here? did he really need it? He had $252 MILLION reasons to believe so. Just one cycle he thought. The boss isn't even testing for it, everyone has turned a blind eye just wanting to see the 'ball fly out of the park'. Let's get good and healthy for this new city and then it can be over.

Of course it is never over. One time leads to 3 years or maybe more, who knows...does it really matter?

Is he the boy with the passion or the man who made the mistake? Is his the only guilty conscience here? Why is he and this generation of ball players being called out? How about the more blatant abuse of amphetamines sitting in locker rooms like M&M's? How about the 70's and 80's with the rampant use of cocaine? Not too mention the abusive use of liquor and tobacco products?

Who are we to judge? If given a chance to turn your $75,000-$150,000 salary into $750,000 what would YOU do?

The GRAMMY's and feedback on my first assignment

First the writing assignment --- he like it, he really liked it (The Instructor that is!). I received really positive feedback and some terrific constructive criticism. I can't wait for the next assignment and also to keep working on this piece as maybe there is a BIGGER story in here trying to 'get out'.

On to the GRAMMY's. I think this is by far the best award show out there for one reason --- they really don't waste time on the AWARDS; they have turned it into a massive concert with great artists and then they mix them up and throw them together. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't but the energy is amazing.

My favorites from the night --- the biggest highlight for me was Sugarland performing their song STAY and then joining Adele to sing CHASING PAVEMENT. Personally both songs 'speak to me' and Sugarland has long been one of my 2 or 3 favorite country groups, well they are a DUO. If you don't know them, the lead singer did the duet with Jon Bon Jovi on "who says you can't go home again" or something like that --- her name is Jennifer Nettles. As for the Adele song, I just LOVE her voice and when you listen to her it is nothing like her physical presence. The song is also very inspirational to me right now. I also really liked Al Green with Justin Timberlake, Boys II Men and Keith Urban. Speaking of JT, I officially have a MAN CRUSH on the guy. Forget the 'boy band' stuff, this guy is SERIOUSLY talented and articulate. His duet with TI was the other highlight for me.

Almost forgot COLDPLAY - they are genius, love them and LOVED the shout out to The Beatles with the colorful jackets, a la Sergeant Peppers, while watching I was wondering what Gayle, Vicki and Dina were thinking....hmmmm....

As for the bad (at least for me) --- two performances I was looking forward to disappointed me. The first was Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. I actually let Cydney stay up with me just to watch this one and it missed; even Cyd looked at me and said 'ewwwwww'. The second was Katy Perry. I really like Katy and I saw the Katie Couric interview with her and it made me like her more but last night she was off (both in key and performance). I think the 'I Kissed a Girl' song is CUTE and maybe she HAD to do it, but she has MUCH BETTER stuff and I think she could have just gone out there and performed instead of doing a 'show' where clearly the physical antics hurt her performance.

That's my recap, thought it would fit in well after my last post on music.

Next writing assignment gets posted tonight at MIDNIGHT - I am psyched!

I got the Music in me...

I just had to cut out of a Social Media Conference to get on with the rest of my day but it certainly had me thinking. As I walked to my car I had a little 'bounce' in my step; I was on a college campus, it was a beautiful late morning, air still a bit crisp but not a cloud in the sky and I knew as soon as I got to my car I was going to open the roof put down the windows and crank up exactly what I needed on THIS morning...

The first thing I love about music is that it can change my mood or channel my thoughts instantly. Usually I can control that by what's in my head or what I want my personal 'playlist' to be but sometimes it will happen just by what is on the XM on a 'spontaneous' nature, and it doesn't ALWAYS make the mood a good one (think John Cusack in 'Better Off Dead' when he chucks the radio out the window). So, as I am walking and admiring the scenery on a SOUTHERN COLLEGE CAMPUS I think about music and where my love for it began and how it developed...

At 8 years old I had the best stereo system on the block; not only did it have a turn table and double cassette deck but it also had an 8 track deck as well and it was hooked up to FOUR speakers and we could plug in microphones and create our own 8 tracks. The 8 track that stands out the most to me in my mind is the GREASE SOUNDTRACK. My mother would play it in the car alot and we would sing along. I also remember hours in my room with Scott Rubenstein dubbing over hot songs. Our favorite was RAPPER'S DELIGHT by Sugarhill Gang. To this day I can 'rap' the ENTIRE song --- you should try me sometime, this and BABY GOT BACK, but that's another story entirely.

Shortly thereafter we moved to South Florida and the stereo came with me but 8 tracks were replaced with vinyl. My two best memories of vinyl; before our house was finished I lived with my cousins for about a year. Everyday I would come home from school and hang with Stacy for hours listening to her 45's. Stacy was cool, she was a FRESHMAN in High School and I was only in 6th grade. To this day I can picture that tan 45 holder with the blue K-102 sticker on it...I think she wore MY SHARONNA out! The other memory is of the records I would play in my room alone with the headset on; Queen - News of the World, Kiss Live and Kiss Live II, Van Halen, Journey and of course AC/DC - Back in Black.

I'll also admit that around this time I was in the band and I really enjoyed it, though I didn't enjoy falling off the top riser in 6th Grade only to lay on the floor looking up as the tuba came down next on top of me...

My favorite part about playing music was solo competitions. I liked being able to pick my own music, work with my teacher and get 'lost' in the piece. In 8th Grade I tackled the theme from Carmen, the Opera, on the tuba. Why did I take that on? Well, one of the stanzas is the theme from the Bad News Bears and I loved baseball. I received straight Superiors in competition and went on to be First Chair All-County and All-State that year. I gave up band in high school, mostly under the peer pressure of a growing social calendar, I wish I hadn't.

Music has always been the 'score' to my life. Songs from the 80's and 90's bring back memories of friends and girls, of times and places I wish I could escape to or could have escaped from. Today I love music as much as ever. My iPods are almost full and I have two hard drives full of music and I still have at least 100 CD's that have yet to have been transferred over. The other day I was going through them and I came across R.E.M.'s Eponymous Album and the sticker from the store I bought it from was still on it. The second I picked it up I could see myself in that spot, at the cash register and then the ride back Gainesville where we listened to non stop R.E.M.

Today I listen to everything. I can go from Keith Urban to Lil' Wayne and everything in between. I appreciate it all because it is someone's love and inspiration from their heart and soul put into Art for us to enjoy.

I still love to go to live shows and can't wait to see Springsteen in April. I love going to outdoor shows that are small and intimate.


I picture a bottle of red wine, a blanket and the stars as we listen to a jazz ensemble or the Symphony and reminisce on life, what we've been through and how we got here.


Cheers and happy early Valentine's Day

Michael Phelps is getting a pass...why?

Because he is WHITE! Ok I said it. Maybe it's not that 'black and white', pun intended, but I GUARANTEE if Mr. Phelps was an African American or Latino he would NOT be getting this free pass. Don't get me wrong either, I love the kid and was glued to the TV every morning during the Olympics, but facts are facts.

Here are the excuses I am hearing:

1. I don't condone what he did but it's not that big of a deal, he is only endangering himself since he does not play a team sport.

2. He's 23 and he was never a kid, this is just a phase.

3. He has apologized profusely and has promised it won't happen again.

Ok, let's look at them.

1. Personally, if he were NOT in the public eye, I could also care less. I believe I am in the minority in my generation to say that I never experimented with weed. I have my own personal reasons but to each his own. HOWEVER, this guy IS in the public eye. What is the signal it says to the 11 year old who is being told to stay away from recreational use? I mean the dude just won EIGHT GOLD MEDALS and is sleeping with every hot chick in Hollywood --- what 11-14 year old does not want to be like Mike? If he is not a ROLE MODEL he is at least a public figure. He also has MILLIONS --- if this was his choice, why not light up in a hotel room with no cell phone cameras.

2. Give me a break! He chose the life and is reaping the rewards. Plus, I have kids and I am not looking to the 'phase' :-)

3. The apology angle ---give me a break! Four years ago Phelps was caught and arrested for a DUI. We got the same sob story...please.

So, you are thinking --- where is the race deal Gil? Let's not be naive...name for me ONE African American athlete who has been found smoking dope and the story becomes a 'feel good' one? I'll wait.

In the meantime, the world has come to Phelps' back. Even the International Swimming Federation fell for the heartfelt apology. Tell me when Roger Goddell will do that in the NFL.

Anyway, I just find it all to be intriguing and worth watching.

On a side note, this was ALL just stream of consciousness while listening to an amazing 3DD/Maroon 5 mix I put together but no I am not 'packing a bowl'.

Creative Writing Assignment #1

Ok - I gave you my warning in my last post!

Also, before I paste it in here, I would be remiss if I did not say how proud I am this morning of TWO people: one, my little sister is 33 today and she is an amazing woman, mother, wife and sister! two, I got one of the best emails last night. My friend Steve, who's BLOG is linked on my page here, is finishing his FINAL ROUND of Chemo and will be OFFICIALLY CANCER FREE. Last night in the email he said he was, "officially a survivor". Funny, we already knew he was so much more! I love both of you greatly, thanks for being such important parts of my life...

Ok, here goes ----


Looking out the windshield his mind played tricks with the raindrops. It was a game of distraction; pick two drops and ‘bet’ with himself as to which one gets to the bottom first. It had always been this way. The rain comforted Jeremy in the darkest of times. Tonight was one of those nights. He knew following him would lead to this but he had to do it. He had to know what his father did when he claimed he was ‘going to work’. He knew in his heart there was no ‘legitimate’ work. How could there be…there was never a briefcase, never the dinner conversation about a ‘tough day at the office’ or ‘that bastard Johnson down the hall’. Instead there was tension and arguments which led to beatings and crying.

Tonight was going to be different though. For once, Jeremy knew the truth and he was prepared to use it. As he sat in the driveway steeling his nerve for the encounter he let every bit of anger and frustration flow through his 25-year-old body. Tonight, the nightmares would end; the lightning flashes and he feels the hand, the elbow or the bat…whatever he got his hands on; as the thunder rolls he hears his mothers screams. As soon as the drop on the far left wins the race he will get out of the car. Jeremy plays the scene out in his mind. He starts with the pictures; the drug deals, the athletes and the politicians. He knows he has enough that his Old Man will listen. He’ll have 15 minutes to pack up and get out of her life. As a child she sang every night to Jeremy, always the same song, “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” by Simon & Garfunkel, tonight he would be that BRIDGE; after tonight the waters will be still, she can sleep. The raindrop is half way down, almost time. What if he says ‘No’ or tries to get ‘physical’? Jeremy felt the cold metal pressing against his abdomen. How ironic would it be to shoot his father with his own gun? How many nights did he lie awake wondering what it would be like to do just that? He knew he wouldn’t have to. His father would go, he would have to protect his friends and clients. Three quarters of the way down, Jeremy thumbs through the pictures, the physical and the ones in his mind. He never came to a ballgame, never took him to the park and never let on that there was any pride in his offspring. Ironically, he will probably be proud tonight – at least the kid stood up for himself.

The raindrop is done and so are the nightmares – the car door opens…